Never Good Enough- JH 4

Author's Note: In the last chapter of Jekyll and Hyde, I noticed towards the beginning that Jekyll mentioned how he had such high goals for himself and then when he didn't accomplish them, it was hard for him to handle. I feel like this happens with a lot of people in their everyday lives. For example, at school someone might study extremely hard for a test and then expect to get a good grade, but then they would get the test back with a lower grade than they would have expected. They had such high hopes and expectations for themselves that they were crushed when they got the low grade. This was the one of the reasons why Jekyll needed to transform into Hyde- because he thought he wasn’t good enough. He thought his evil side was better than his boring, good side.
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            The gun felt heavy in her hand. She didn’t actually know how much one weighed; she never in her 16 years of life thought she’d ever need to hold one. She focused her gaze on the trigger. How could such a weak drawback cause fatal consequences? She was amazed at the thought. To her, this was art. Mesmerized by the design, she was at a loss for words.

            She walked to the old run-down shed standing in her backyard. The door creaked open revealing large cobwebs and thick dust. The sunlight shone through a broken window almost making the shed look appealing. She held the gun tight in her hand ready for the next decision she was about to make.

            She was never satisfied with herself; she always felt like a failure. Her grades dropped since she started high school. She really did try her best but nothing was ever good enough. She didn’t feel like she belonged there. She made the varsity tennis team freshman year. Even though she was just 1 match away from the state championship, she thought she was awful. She blamed herself for everything that ever happened because she didn’t know how to cope with her feelings. She found it hard to reconcile with the imperious desire to carry her head high. Her life was slowly falling apart.

            Looking down at the gun clutched tightly in her hand, she stepped into the shed. She found a thick rope and attached it to the trigger of the gun. She tied the end of the rope to the door making sure it didn’t move the trigger quite yet. She stood approximately 10 feet away from the gun. She stared at it for a long time. Her mind wandered to her family and friends who didn’t have a clue what was about to happen. She thought about her mom and dad. They were divorced and never spoke anymore. She thought about her older sister. She had always looked up to her for everything, but soon she wouldn’t need to anymore. She then thought about her best friend. Maybe she would be happy, she could now spend all her time with her boyfriend and she wouldn’t need to worry about her anymore. She needed to stop thinking. She didn’t want to convince herself to change her own mind.

            Taking deep breaths, one after another, she picked up the other end of the rope lying on the floor. Slowly closing her eyes, she let a small tear slide down the side of her cheek. She held her ground and stood up tall. Letting out one last breath, she pulled the rope towards her and the gun went off in the serene silent shed. The only noise after the loud pop was the sound of a limp body hitting the ground.