Friday, January 20, 2012

short story

Author's Note: It was required for me to write this piece for my Honors English 10 class. It's about a woman who dreams of everything in her life being perfect and when it isn't she tries to make it perfect fast.
Short Story- The Perfect Family
            She planned for her marriage to be perfect: a husband, wife, and child. She never thought this image of a perfect family could be phased. Her dream, the one she waited for her whole life, was supposed to work out. Her thoughts were meaningful and harmless, her heart unbroken. Their family would love each other unconditionally until the last day of existence. There would always be trust, because trust was a main factor in a functional relationship. This was how she wanted her family to turn out; this was the way it was supposed to be.  
            The wife’s name was Rebecca, the husband’s Andrew. The two met in college during a never ending lecture on Biology. Rebecca knew she was going to marry Andrew from the moment she laid eyes on him. Andrew had a way with words, and he knew how to make a girl laugh. He was also very good looking, which made it easy for any girl to fall for him. The two dated for a year and a half before they said their vows. The wedding, along with everything leading up to it, was exactly what Rebecca had wanted. It was all going perfectly.
            Rebecca got pregnant with their one and only child a few months after she and Andrew got married. The two ended up having a baby girl named Callie. Rebecca and Andrew adored their new child, but unfortunately Rebecca’s job requested her return to the usual monthly business trips and many meetings. Shortly after Callie was born, the couple hired Lydia, a nanny, so they could have more help with taking care of Callie. Lydia was young yet reliable, still in college, but very mature. Andrew, along with Rebecca, knew they could trust her.  
            While Rebecca was away at a business conference across the country, Andrew was at home on a conference call and Lydia was in the kitchen taking care of Callie. Lydia, being a single college student, had the slightest crush on Andrew because there was not much of an age difference between them. While on his lunch break, Andrew took Lydia to his favorite restaurant. They ate and talked about anything and everything. The conversation ignited and it didn’t take long for their connection to spark into something more.
            After the first incident occurred, Andrew promised himself it wouldn’t happen again. He knew what he had done was wrong, and he wanted it all to be in his past but it did not stop.  Rebecca went on her monthly business trips as usual, and her meetings kept getting extended to later and later. Andrew’s one accident kept repeating itself, and after awhile, he began to feel no more remorse. He found more and more reasons to start seeing Lydia, even outside of taking care of Callie. He thought he could hide his relationship from his wife forever, but forever did not last.
            Rebecca thought her relationship was perfect. Even though she went on her business trips and to her meetings, she trusted Andrew to stay faithful like a normal husband would. Rebecca would have never found out about Andrew and Lydia’s relationship if it was not for the little mistake. Andrew left his cell phone out on the kitchen counter while he was upstairs getting ready for work. The phone went off, and Rebecca absent-mindedly looked at the screen to see what it was for. The screen lit up with a little envelope representing a text message. It was from Lydia saying, Can’t wait for tonight. Meet you at the usual place at 5. Becca won’t be home ‘till late. Already talked to her about it. Long meeting with the boss. See you tonight! <3 Lydia
Rebecca did not have a reaction. Her marriage was perfect, it had to be. Nothing could possibly go wrong. She loved her husband and her husband loved her. That is the way it was supposed to be. She believed nothing was going to happen that night, so she put down the phone, walked upstairs, and began to get ready for the day.
Just like Lydia said, Rebecca had a meeting with her boss until late that night. She came home at about ten, went straight upstairs and went to bed. She was mentally and physically exhausted. She ignored the fact that neither her husband nor Callie was home yet. She climbed into bed and began thinking of the text she read that morning. Could it be true? Was her husband really cheating on her? She laughed at the thought, closed her eyes, and went to bed.
The next morning, she awoke to her husband lying next to her. She smiled to herself and got up, pondering the fact that she and Andrew’s marriage was perfect. She was in such a good mood that she made Andrew’s favorite breakfast: French toast with bacon and black coffee. Andrew came downstairs, slightly surprised at the scene before him. He ate anyway, happy that breakfast was made for him. When he took a sip of coffee, he spit it back in the cup. Rebecca confused as to what happened asked him what was wrong. He told her he liked cream and sugar with his coffee because Lydia made it that way. Plain black was just too bitter for him. Rebecca nodded and quickly finished her breakfast.
The signs kept showing up to Rebecca that Andrew was cheating on her. Rebecca, oblivious to the fact that marriages are able to fall apart, ignored the signs and thought that everything was perfectly normal. Unfortunately, Rebecca’s job crumbled to pieces and she became unemployed. Since she could always be home now, she talked to Andrew about firing Lydia as their nanny. She told him they did not need her anymore since she could always be home. Andrew reluctantly agreed, so they let Lydia go.
Even though Lydia should have been deleted from the picture, Andrew still managed to see her. Rebecca finally put together the clues that had noticeably been put in front of her, and had a slight bit of conviction that made her believe her husband was indeed cheating on her. Rebecca questioned him as to why he still kept in contact with Lydia even though she was no longer their nanny. Andrew did not have a definite answer, so Rebecca finally realized Andrew was actually cheating on her. It felt like knives with tingling edges stabbing her into an unknown feeling.
Rebecca still wanted her perfect family and she thought she could still have it. She was a kind-hearted person, not at all violent, who liked to work circumstances out. But in order to save her marriage and her family, she completed drastic tasks to get it back fast.
While Andrew was in the shower one morning, Rebecca took his phone and sent Lydia a text message saying Becca is running errands all day, come for breakfast at 9?Lydia immediately responded with a yes, so Rebecca put the phone down and went to the kitchen. Andrew left for work at eight which gave her an hour to wait for Lydia to arrive. Lydia came at exactly nine, and Rebecca was hiding behind the counter, kitchen knife in hand. She heard the creaking door in all the silence with a small step of caution. Lydia rounded the corner of the counter and was astonished to see Rebecca crouched down before her. Without a second thought, Rebecca jumped up and stabbed Lydia in the chest. Lydia collapsed to the floor without making a sound.
Rebecca examined Lydia’s dead body lying before her; the blood rapidly oozing out of her wound. With no regret, she smiled to herself. Now that Lydia was gone, Rebecca’s family could go back to the way it should have been all along. Their family would now be perfect; nothing was going to stop the reformation of her beautiful fantasy. That was the way it was supposed to be.      

10 comments:

  1. Kate! I really like this! I love how the end of the story repeats the end of the first paragraph! The only thing maybe you could do next time would to replace some more simple words with better diction. Other than that, I love the story, and I like how it takes the average girl's fantasy and turns it into a nightmare.

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  2. This is a really good short story! I remember reading your first draft of it, and seeing how far you came with it is really cool! Other than some sentence structures and word choice, the whole concept of this story is really creative! Nicely done Kate!

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  3. This was great Katie! It was so interesting seeing the relationship between the two go from so ideal to the worst she could imagine. Like Allie and Taylor said, word choice is the only thing if I had to choose that could have been improved, otherwise I loved the concept of the story!

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  4. Well first I absolutely love your blog! Second, the idea for the story is unique in the way you described it. I agree with the more sophisticated word choice improvement, but the story is very interesting as is. I was never expecting the ending, which made it even more fun to read. Nice job!

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  5. This was really good Kate! Your character's defense mechanism was really easy to see. The story got wordy at times but it was still really good! I especially liked the ending!

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  6. the lady seemed to keep denying that her husband could ever do something wrong. nice story, good word choice, i feel bad for the unknowing lady.

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  7. Yeah this is a really cool idea katie! I love it:) It is really realistic yet taken over the top which made it better:) I would just say pick a few words to change as far as diction and more emotion. Your a great writer:)

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  8. I love this story! So deep! You're an amazing writer Katie! On your next story maybe at some cool mature word choice in there. Otherwise this is awesome! :)

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  9. Wow kate wood i love your story! I really like how it ends, because I had no idea that she was going to kill her. Next time maybe try and have better word choice that fits the emotions.

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  10. kate, good job. i loved how your idea came together so well for you. good story line and ending. you could have showed a little more than told, but overall it was wonderful kate (:

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